What if My Husband Doesn't Agree?

 

 

What If My Husband Doesn’t Agree With Head Covering?

What if you become convinced that you should cover, but your husband disagrees?

This involves more than interpreting 1 Corinthians 11. It touches marriage, conscience, submission, and obedience to God. It deserves more than a quick “Obey your husband” or “Obey God rather than man.”

First, disagreement is not the same as conflict.

Your husband may believe head covering was cultural, that a woman’s hair is her covering, or that the passage does not apply today. He may worry about legalism or simply think a covering will look strange. That does not necessarily mean he will forbid you to wear one.

If Your Husband Is Not a Believer

Scripture recognizes the difficulty of this situation:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.
—1 Peter 3:1

Your conduct—more than your arguments—may be what God uses to bring your husband to Himself. If your husband does not attend church, putting on your covering after you arrive may allow you to honor your conviction without creating unnecessary friction at home.

If Your Husband Is a Believer

Begin with prayer. Ask what he believes, explain how you reached your conclusion, and invite him to study the passage with you.

Remember that you may have spent months considering this question. He may have had only a few minutes. Give him room to catch up.

Ask whether he can support your decision as a matter of conscience even if he remains unconvinced. A husband can disagree and still protect and support his wife.

If He Actively Opposes Covering

Explain calmly that ignoring the instruction would violate your conscience—if that is truly your conviction. Then look for a peaceful way forward. Would he accept a modest hat or another less conspicuous covering?

If he will not accept even that, I am not going to counsel you to defy your husband. Continue praying for understanding without turning prayer into nagging.

Let him see that your study has produced greater humility, patience, and love—not contention or self-righteousness. You may be right about the covering and wrong in how you treat your husband over it.

Both matter.

You do not have to resolve everything immediately. Pursue obedience to God and peace in your marriage, trusting the Lord to work in both your conscience and your relationship.

A question for reflection:
Am I pursuing both obedience to God and a posture of humility, respect, and peace within my marriage?