Product Review: Leto Collection

 (WARNING: this is NOT a Christian company and some of the images are not what many would consider "modest")

I got a couple of bandanas from the Leto Collection. 

Colors are true to the website and they're very pretty - my color profile is "warm/bright/medium" and that can be difficult to find -- this company has several that fit my colors.

I found that the cotton bandanas wrinkle a bit easier than the silky scarves and I need to experiment more with the placement, as this one slid off my head halfway through Bible Study.

The fabric is medium-weave and easy to tie.

I like 

Why We Need Head-Covering Resources by Women, for Women

 

I recently posted an informal poll in a Christian head-covering group. I asked married members who became convinced first that head covering applies today: the husband, the wife, or both at about the same time.

The results were striking.

• 21 percent said the wife became convinced first and the husband later agreed.
• 35 percent said the wife is convinced and her husband is supportive, but not personally convinced.
• 5 percent said the wife is convinced while her husband disagrees or opposes the practice.

Altogether, 61 percent described the wife as the first—or only—spouse personally convinced.

By comparison, only 3 percent reported that the husband became convinced first or remained convinced while his wife did not. Another 29 percent said they reached the conclusion at about the same time.

This was not a scientific survey. It was a voluntary poll in a group already interested in head covering. Still, the difference is difficult to overlook: in many marriages, the woman is the one studying the passage, wrestling with its meaning, and deciding whether she can obey it with a clear conscience.

That is one reason I believe resources written by women, for women, are vital.

The Woman Is the One Who Wears It

Men have written many valuable theological treatments of 1 Corinthians 11, and I am grateful for them. Biblical truth does not change according to the sex of the person explaining it.

But the woman is the one who must place the covering on her head and walk into church wearing it.

She is the one who wonders whether everyone will stare. She must decide whether to wear a hat, scarf, veil, or wide headband. She asks whether all her hair must be concealed, whether a covering must look “religious,” and what to do if she is the only woman in her congregation who covers.

She may also need to approach a husband who has never considered the subject and explain why the passage has begun to trouble her conscience. As the poll shows, many husbands will support their wives without becoming personally persuaded by the interpretation.

These are not merely fashion questions. They involve conscience, marriage, worship, church relationships, and the quiet vulnerability of becoming visibly different.

A woman who has faced those questions can often recognize them before another woman even knows how to express them.

Theology and Lived Obedience

A resource by women, for women should not replace careful exegesis with feelings or personal experience. Scripture remains the authority. Our experiences must be interpreted by the Word—not the other way around.

But sound theology should eventually answer the question, “What does faithfulness look like in real life?”

Women need resources that take Paul’s reasoning seriously while also addressing the practical questions that follow. We need room to discuss fear, hesitation, beauty, femininity, marriage, church culture, and liberty of conscience without treating those concerns as shallow or irrelevant.

Titus 2 recognizes the value of women teaching and encouraging other women. There is something deeply helpful about hearing, “I have wrestled with this too. Here is what Scripture says, here is where it stops, and here is how I learned to walk it out.”

Resources by women, for women are not needed because women require a different Bible. They are needed because women often encounter a different set of questions while seeking to obey the same Bible.

That is why I wrote Recovering Covering: Scripture, Conscience, and the Beauty of Biblical Head Covering: to offer women a thoughtful place to begin—one that takes Scripture seriously, respects Christian conscience, and does not leave the practical “what if?” questions unanswered.

 

What Is a Hedge Law?

A hedge law is an extra rule placed around a biblical command to help keep a person from getting too close to disobedience.

The idea is simple: if God’s command marks the boundary, another rule is placed several steps away from it. In theory, a person who never crosses the additional boundary will never cross the biblical one.

Sometimes personal boundaries are wise. One woman may choose a larger covering because a small one does not feel meaningful to her. Another may avoid certain clothing, cosmetics, or situations because she knows her own temptations. There is nothing wrong with making thoughtful choices for ourselves.

The problem begins when we confuse our protective boundary with God’s command—and then require everyone else to observe it.

In head-covering communities, the reasoning can go something like this:

If a woman covers because she accepts biblical distinctions between men and women, she should also stop wearing pants, makeup, jewelry, or fashionable clothing.

But 1 Corinthians 11 does not make those connections. It gives instructions concerning men’s and women’s heads during prayer and prophecy. It does not establish an entire dress code.

A woman may reach separate convictions about pants, makeup, jewelry, or how much hair her covering should conceal. Those questions deserve their own biblical examination. They should not be smuggled into the head-covering instruction as though accepting one necessarily requires accepting all the others.

Hedge laws often begin with good intentions. We want to obey carefully and avoid compromise. But when we present our applications as God’s commands, we risk binding consciences where Scripture has left them free.

We must distinguish among three things:

• What Scripture commands
• How we personally apply that command
• What we merely prefer

Personal safeguards may be wise. They are not automatically universal laws.

Recovering the biblical practice of head covering should mean returning to what Scripture actually says—not surrounding it with so many additional rules that women can no longer see the command itself.

Modesty - More Than Inches

 

“You’re Almost There”: When Jewelry Becomes Ostentatious

Well, let me tell you a story.

A group of us were sitting around a table when the conversation turned to hats in church—specifically, what someone jokingly called “Pentecostal fruit-basket hats.”

I told them about a pastor I worked with about fifteen years ago. He invited me to visit his church, and I replied, “I can’t do the hats.”

One of my friends—a man, as it happened—looked at me and said:

“Oh, come on. I’ve seen some of the necklaces you wear. You’re almost there.”

Ouch.

It was funny because it was true enough to sting. I may not have been ready for a large, elaborately decorated church hat, but I have never been shy about wearing a statement necklace.

The exchange reminded me that modesty is not merely about how much skin an outfit reveals. Scripture also connects modesty with restraint in personal display:

“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.”
—1 Timothy 2:9 (ESV)

Paul is not giving us a hedge law that forbids every braid, pearl, or piece of gold. His concern is ostentatious adornment—using our appearance to advertise wealth, status, or importance rather than reflecting godliness and good works.

And that means costume jewelry is not automatically exempt. Something does not have to be expensive to be excessive. A twenty-dollar necklace can command more attention than a costly but understated one. Modesty is not determined by the price tag; it also involves the impression we are trying to create.

Jewelry can be beautiful, feminine, colorful, and enjoyable. I do not believe Scripture requires Christian women to make themselves plain or unattractive. But there is a difference between wearing something lovely and arranging ourselves so that everyone must notice us.

That difference is not always measurable. Scripture does not limit us to one necklace, two bracelets, or earrings below a certain size. Here again, we must resist turning wisdom into a dress code. What looks excessive in one setting may look perfectly appropriate in another.

The better questions concern the heart:

Why did I choose this?

Am I enjoying beauty, or seeking attention?

Does my appearance complement the occasion, or dominate it?

Would I be disappointed if no one noticed or complimented what I wore?

My friend’s comment did not make me give up statement necklaces. It did, however, give me a memorable reason to examine them—and myself—a little more honestly.

Perhaps I am not ready for the fruit-basket hat.

But apparently, I’m almost there.

Product Review: Heading Prints, the silky scarves

 

Heading Print Silky Scarves: 

I have two and I wear the one shown on a regular basis.

What I love:

• the size - generous, square, enough scarf to tie easily
• the design and colors! So pretty

What I don't love so much"

• when they say "silky" they mean silky! It did stay in place, but it didn't fell as if it was staying in place.

Heading Prints also has cotton bandanas, smaller and really suitable for less formal gatherings. 

What Biblical Modesty Is—and Is Not

 

These questions will show up again at the bottom of the post:

 Before asking, Is this outfit allowed? perhaps we should first ask:

What am I hoping my appearance will communicate?

Do my choices reflect humility, self-control, and consideration for others?

Am I using modesty to honor God—or to measure myself against other women?

When Christians discuss modesty, the conversation often begins—and ends—with clothing. How short is too short? How low is too low? Are pants acceptable? Must shoulders, knees, or collarbones be covered?

Those questions may have a place, but the Bible approaches modesty more broadly.

Paul writes:

“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”
—1 Timothy 2:9–10

The contrast is not simply between revealing and non-revealing clothing. Paul contrasts conspicuous outward display with the good works appropriate to a woman who professes faith in God. In that setting, elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls, and expensive clothing could advertise wealth and social position.

Peter makes a similar point:

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart.”
—1 Peter 3:3–4

Neither passage means that women may never braid their hair, wear jewelry, or own attractive clothing. If Peter were issuing an absolute prohibition, “the clothing you wear” would prohibit clothing itself. The point is one of emphasis: outward appearance must not become the source of our identity, value, or glory.

Biblical modesty begins with the heart.

It includes humility rather than self-display, self-control rather than excess, and concern for others rather than a constant desire to be noticed. It asks not only, How much of my body is showing? but also:

• Am I dressing to advertise wealth or status?
• Am I trying to provoke envy or sexual attention?
• Am I consumed with being admired?
• Does my appearance fit my profession of godliness?
• Am I exercising wisdom and self-control?

Modesty certainly has implications for how much of the body we reveal. Scripture treats nakedness and sexual exposure seriously. But biblical modesty cannot be reduced to measuring hemlines with a ruler. A woman can be completely covered and still dress for pride, status, or attention. She can also wear something attractive, feminine, and flattering without being immodest.

What Modesty Is Not

Modesty is not a command to make ourselves unattractive. God created beauty, color, craftsmanship, and variety. The Proverbs 31 woman dresses in “fine linen and purple,” and the bride in the Song of Solomon is described as beautiful.

Modesty is not a requirement that every Christian woman dress alike. Scripture does not prescribe one fabric, skirt length, sleeve length, or approved style for every woman in every culture and circumstance.

Modesty is not a system by which we prove that we are more spiritual than other women. Rules can help us apply a principle wisely, but our personal rules must not quietly become additions to Scripture.

Modesty also does not make women responsible for every thought a man may have. Men are responsible before God for their own eyes, thoughts, and conduct. At the same time, Christian love means that neither men nor women should deliberately use their bodies to invite sexual attention outside its proper place.

Finally, modesty is not merely a women’s issue. Men, too, can dress to display wealth, sexuality, power, or physical superiority. The biblical call to humility and self-control belongs to every believer.

The modest woman is not necessarily the woman wearing the longest skirt or the plainest clothing. She is the woman whose outward choices are governed by an inward desire to honor God. Her clothing does not need to erase her personality or hide every trace of beauty. It should simply agree with what she professes: that Christ, rather than her body, wealth, or social standing, is her greatest treasure.

Before asking, Is this outfit allowed? perhaps we should first ask:

What am I hoping my appearance will communicate?

Do my choices reflect humility, self-control, and consideration for others?

Am I using modesty to honor God—or to measure myself against other women?

What if My Husband Doesn't Agree?

 

 

What If My Husband Doesn’t Agree With Head Covering?

What if you become convinced that you should cover, but your husband disagrees?

This involves more than interpreting 1 Corinthians 11. It touches marriage, conscience, submission, and obedience to God. It deserves more than a quick “Obey your husband” or “Obey God rather than man.”

First, disagreement is not the same as conflict.

Your husband may believe head covering was cultural, that a woman’s hair is her covering, or that the passage does not apply today. He may worry about legalism or simply think a covering will look strange. That does not necessarily mean he will forbid you to wear one.

If Your Husband Is Not a Believer

Scripture recognizes the difficulty of this situation:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.
—1 Peter 3:1

Your conduct—more than your arguments—may be what God uses to bring your husband to Himself. If your husband does not attend church, putting on your covering after you arrive may allow you to honor your conviction without creating unnecessary friction at home.

If Your Husband Is a Believer

Begin with prayer. Ask what he believes, explain how you reached your conclusion, and invite him to study the passage with you.

Remember that you may have spent months considering this question. He may have had only a few minutes. Give him room to catch up.

Ask whether he can support your decision as a matter of conscience even if he remains unconvinced. A husband can disagree and still protect and support his wife.

If He Actively Opposes Covering

Explain calmly that ignoring the instruction would violate your conscience—if that is truly your conviction. Then look for a peaceful way forward. Would he accept a modest hat or another less conspicuous covering?

If he will not accept even that, I am not going to counsel you to defy your husband. Continue praying for understanding without turning prayer into nagging.

Let him see that your study has produced greater humility, patience, and love—not contention or self-righteousness. You may be right about the covering and wrong in how you treat your husband over it.

Both matter.

You do not have to resolve everything immediately. Pursue obedience to God and peace in your marriage, trusting the Lord to work in both your conscience and your relationship.

A question for reflection:
Am I pursuing both obedience to God and a posture of humility, respect, and peace within my marriage?